Some of the best advice I have received from my Midwestern grandfather is to “stop burning the candle at both ends.” When I think about what burnout looks and feels like to me, it feels like that candle is about to run out of wax between the flames. Although I continue to burn the candle from both ends, it serves as a ringing reminder in my mind that I only have so much energy to give at any certain time.
As I have learned from the evidence-based SPARK curriculum, our state of mind fluctuates throughout the day, and with that so does our physical, mental, and emotional energy. You cannot give from an empty cup, so how do we know when we are starting to run low? We need self-awareness to know when our cup is empty and then find the courage to take care of ourselves first. Creating and maintaining self- awareness is the first step of growth in any realm, but it can also be a tool for creating boundaries. Lack of boundaries is one of the main reasons why people get to the point of burnout.
Oftentimes, we can get stuck in the fast pace of society, and work, and the to- do lists, and the daily maintenance of things and then all of a sudden another week has gone by. There are constant societal pressures that have us pulling all-nighters, working on the fuel of energy drinks, or chugging coffee in the evening with the hopes of warding off sleep for a few more hours of productivity. This way of living is not sustainable, and it will only be so long until burnout begins again.
There are many different types of burnout: physical, emotional, mental, and occupational are some, and they can all intermingle. As you read this, I would like you to think of some ways in which burnout might look for you in your life. For me, it is usually uncontrollable crying, or I get physically ill for a few days; neither of which are ideal. In order to stop getting to the breaking point of burnout, we must get to know ourselves and when we are beginning to push a bit too hard.
In a capitalist society, the “hustle mentality” is pushed upon people. I do not think this is an entirely negative thing, as it is important for everyone to go after what they want, especially from a young age. However, for the benefit of youth well-being, and societal well-being, we all need to learn how to be okay with resting.
Rest is essential to the hustle mentality, and to every other way of living. Resting allows our bodies to heal, refresh, and stay strong. Some of my favorite ideas have come to me during moments of rest. Resting is also a privilege, and something that many people feel guilty doing. There is nothing selfish about taking care of yourself. In order to get the most out of moments where we can rest, we must allow ourselves to actually rest, and not feel bad about the list of things waiting for us; those things can wait.
There are steps available to all of us towards ending the cycle of burnout, most of which include getting to know ourselves more. Being organized and proactive can eliminate a lot of background anxieties and clutter. There are people around to support us, and it is okay to ask for help. To get to know ourselves a bit more, I would like to invite you to make some lists or perhaps even create a journal entry from these questions.
- What does it look like when I am burnt out?
- Do the people around me support my well-being?
- Am I doing what fulfills me and brings me passion?
- When I am resting, am I letting myself rest or making myself feel guilty?
- How do I take care of myself?
Life is beautiful, but it can be easy to forget that and become overwhelmed. Our realities are created from the inside- out, which means that we ultimately have the power to end the cycle of burnout. Our state of mind at every moment, is the lens in which we see and create the version of reality we perceive through our own eyes. This is the case for every single person, whether they are sitting in the same room as you or completely across the world. In the morning we might like a song, and by the afternoon we are sick of it. One day we love the city we grew up in, the next we cannot wait to get out. On Monday we made fun plans, but by Friday, they no longer sound fun. Right now my favorite color is gray, but tomorrow it might be red. We are constantly changing, and this is completely natural. In order to be nicer to ourselves and maintain grace through the rough times, it is essential to understand that giving our best will look different each day, in each moment, just like state of mind. When we understand how our mind works, what our limits are, and where we need to create boundaries there is a great opportunity to break the cycle of burnout by putting our own well- being first.