As 2018 came to a close I began to notice something almost unrecognizable about my own existence. Though dripping with children, 20lbs heavier, and so exhausted I could barely make it through Christmas dinner, I was met with a sense of peace, contentment, lightness and aliveness that had eluded me most of the year prior.
When I became aware of myself, I was in awe. It was late December. Ladies, I repeat, late DECEMBER! In the history of my existence as an adult, I have never ended December with any feeling other than what I envision an out-of-shape, unsuspecting, first-time marathon runner feels after stumbling into the finish line on pure adrenaline and determination – elated it’s over, shocked she survived and swearing next time she will start preparing earlier.
Mornings are not where I will be winning any parental or leadership awards – ever. This morning I was feeling tired and grouchy… and feeling bad about my tired and grouchy-ness because I just got home from a trip to London and my sweet kids haven’t seen much of me. And they deserve better.
I can already feel the mom police revving their engines…the sirens are about to blow. I humbly request that you slowly take the keys out of the ignition and read…to the end…before deciding on my punishment.
Here at the Cypress Initiative, a lot of our time and energy is spent in classrooms, helping kids of all ages learn about their SPARK. A few times a year, we also make teaching teachers a priority through our SPARK training programs and we love it!
What would I do differently if in every moment, I knew no matter what I faced, not only could I find the courage, ability, and resilience inside myself to be ok, but that I didn’t have to go searching for it because it’s there already just waiting for me to fall into it?
Rarely do I engage in “Facebook Politicking” or political conversations. In fact, I’m almost proud to say I’ve only taken the bait 3 times in the past year. With the US election around the corner and the circus our political system has turned into, I would say that statistic is a win for any citizen of this country.
At The Cypress Initiative we spend a lot of time talking about WHAT we do. We also spend a lot of time telling others about the HOW. But we don’t spend a lot of time sharing our WHY…
I’m going to be 35 in a few days and I’ve spent the majority of my 35 years knowing a few things for certain about myself: 1. I’m an introvert. 2. I only like to exercise in the morning. Like layers of concrete that could never wear- these were things I knew to be true to my personality.
Imagine your head is like a highway. You’re just chugging right along, when you come up to an exit sign. Now picture that exit sign as a thought in your head. We all have different types of thoughts, constantly, all day long. Just like we can’t control which exit signs are on the highway, we can’t control which thoughts pop up in our head.
When I took the position of Executive Director in February of 2014, I had very high hopes and a well-devised plan of action. But what I came to learn through my first year at the Cypress Initiative is the need for a plan is only a need created within myself.