Why do I have these feelings?
There must be something wrong
I didn’t feel this way yesterday
I felt strong
My stomach hurts
It won’t go away
Same old things
Just a different day
I have so much energy
But I’m locked in a cage
I’m screaming on the inside
I want to run away
Trying to change the feeling
Only makes me cry
I remind myself it’s temporary
Please stand by
I go to sleep
Wake up at 3
Thinking about everything
Why won’t they leave
Stuck in these feelings
I thought they’d be gone
Get through the day
I guess I AM being strong
Thoughts finally simmer
Leave some behind
See something different
I knew I’d be fine
There is no doubt that feelings can be intense. They can trick us into thinking something is really wrong, and we need to fix them. But what if you had awareness? What if you knew that your feelings were only a projection of what’s going on in your mind at the moment?
I was having a bad day. My emotions were high. I felt anxiety, frustration, anger, sadness, and discontentment all at one time. When we don’t like a feeling, we automatically want to fix it. But thoughts and feelings aren’t permanent, there’s nothing to fix. As I grow deeper in my understanding, my awareness becomes more and more present. I know I’m going to have good days and bad days. I know I am going to feel stuck sometimes. But I also know it’s ok, I’m ok, even when I think I’m not. We have all these feeling inside us, so just let them flow.
It’s kind of interesting, I am not a poetry person. I actually always thought poems were kind of dumb. Like why not write out your complete thoughts in a more detailed sentences so it makes better sense? However, I was having a bad day and I felt the need to let it out. This poem just flowed through me, and I let it. I needed this poem. I needed this poem, in this moment to shift my mind. That’s how it works, when our mind shifts to new thoughts, we feel different. I now have a different thought about poetry, and it has definitely given me a different feeling. Grateful.